dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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