Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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