CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
