Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This is my gift to your gina
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
