your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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