:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
