i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
