Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
did you just send me my own nude
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize