why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
