It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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