Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
