if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
