We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
