is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
