We got so high we made milksteak
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
