do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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