I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize