just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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