I'm pants shitting drunk right now
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
