My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
