More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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