You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
