he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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