Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
