The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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