Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize