Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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