what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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