At least make sure they are 18
Why
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
