i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
