Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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