it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
