508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so explain again why im purple
no
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
