What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
