your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
