At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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