i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
