how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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