why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
