Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
