i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
