grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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