thus making me awesome and them whores
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
