I got chris browned last night
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
