How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
