So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
