When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
