I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
