Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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