I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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