I love watching others lives come down to our level.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Panties = found
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize