she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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