Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
