I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
