went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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