i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
