nutella sex= disaster
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize