Don't you send me to vm
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
