problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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