OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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