I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
