the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize