It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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