I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
