so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
