Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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