And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
