return my video game
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize