i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
