She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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