Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
